That Reagan shaped mechanical gadget in the metal box that made you jump like a little sissy boy, Joe, that is the heart and soul of what the flag’n’ Jebus crowd is scared of so bad they can’t even think about him existing.” He looked at Joe, waiting for an aha! that didn’t come. “That whole wing of modern conservatism lives for, on, about, with, in, and by the idea that everything is happening via supernatural powers and that the devil is powerful and has to be fought. Modern science totally spoils that because it gives people so much power but not from supernatural sources. No God in the instruments, you know?“ So with modern tech we can make Ronald Reagan appear to come back from the grave, but to do it with modern tech leaves no need for spirits or sacred words or miracles or any other flavor of magic. Which only re emphasizes what they’re most afraid of: living in a world where nobody paints the sky blue every morning, or leaves quarters for teeth, or made platypi as a joke, or decided to sculpt the Grand Canyon, or took granny to heaven to make chocolate chip cookies for the angels. Nobody, nobody, nobody. So since their theology won’t let me bring in a Robo Jesus to call forth Robo Reagan, like sort of a Robo Lazarus, and they really want this, like so many people do…well, it can’t come from nobody, it has to come from somebody, and the somebody can’t be God.“Well, if the devil is anything, he’s somebody.” Joe was still sputtering. “But it… I mean, they’re going to think it’s coming out of Hell! Literal capital H real place Hell! ”“Well, exactly. Think about how much that proves. If there’s a Hell and a Devil, there’s also a Heaven and a God. Once they have their Reagan back all they have to do is pray over him a little, drive the devil out, accept the blessing of a restored Reagan on behalf of God, and they’re good to go. God forgives crazier shit than that all the time. John Barnes
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  2. This work was strictly voluntary, but any animal who absented himself from it would have his rations reduced by half. - George Orwell
  3. The universe is a million billion light-years wide, and every inch of it would kill you if you went there. This is the position of the universe with regards to human life. - Martin Amis
  4. I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense to me. - Matt Groening
  5. Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. - Ambrose Bierce
More Quotes By John Barnes
  1. Ah. Well, it stands for Freedom From Morality. We don't think healthy amorality happens naturally." "But you're not amoral, " I pointed out. I would trust you to keep your word any time. <span style="margin:15px; display:block"></span>You don't steal. I've never known you to harm anyone...
  2. So we fell asleep holding hands. If married couples got to do this all the time, shit if I could understand how there were ever divorces, or even fights.
  3. Amatus waited a long time, but at last he broke the silence." There is much I don't unders
  4. This is not the way these tales end, " Calliope said firmly." This is not the way that things end when they get to be tales, " Amatus said, "but since ours is not yet told, we cannot count on it. There were a hundred...
  5. Going into the Republican Party National Convention, in all objective truth, our non‑winning front‑runners are the sorriest collection of stuffed shirts, empty suits, self‑gratulatory ignorami, and outright wig‑flipped ding‑dongs in the history of the Republic.
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